I should be hanged

Ohmigod. As in seriously Ohmigod.

I should be hanged. Or worse bitch slapped. Like someone should totally come up to me in public, brandish their steely palms and hit me with it in my cheeks!!!

I totally deserve that.

Why?

Well, because here I am still mooning over my crush who chose to friendzone me after I painfully carved my chest in order to show him my heart who beats his name (okay, fine. I just texted him that I like him, but still!!!), and how I sometimes go over the memories we shared together with me getting all teary-eyed especially when listening to a song (Lady Antebellum's Owned the Night is just AWESOME, 'nuff said) and then when I get real sad, as in REAL sad, I sorta blame him on how he sorta led me on, when it hit me (real hard may I say?) that perhaps the reason why he rejected me (and showing it by not even texting back 'hey I think of you just a friend' or whatever, anyway) is that he is actually totally in love with someone and they have this great relationship going on!!! (or, since well he's single I think that's what he said, he's totally also having a one-sided love going on with someone and that he really, really likes her. But fudge, this kind-of scenario reminds me of something that I don't wanna remember so I won't). And here I am trying to think of ways to make him mine (HAHA! just you know dreaming things up on how I'd show him my greatness, like hell yeah) or at least show him that it's his loss not mine (and this is what you get for reading too much romance novels, I know but they [romance novels] offer a kind-of escape from this world you know? Only geez, don't get me started on Twilight. I hate it. I'm more of a Cabot girl, and okay sometimes Nora Roberts and of course Nicholas Sparks! :D) or well just you know, things that would make me feel better. Anyway, as I was saying, I was moping around like that when I realize what a bitch I am (although seriously? I already know it's bitchy to act like you were oh-so-hurt and fooled when you weren't really. Fooled, I mean.) and I should be hanged. Really. For my selfishness, I mean.

God. What kind of friend am I? And I have the nerve to still consider him a friend. Wah!!! I am so so so going to bang my head a hundred thousand times on the wall for retribution.