Gosick and Dantalian no Shoka (and me)

First allow me to say: Gosick is more freaking awesome!!! However, Dantalain no Shoka is also freaking good on its own.

Anyway, the point is just that DnS appears to be very much like G especially in terms of characters, I mean doesn't Dalian reminds you a lot of tsundere Victorique, that cute little girl who also happens to be a wise-ass not to mention an actual genius (and who also LOVES sweets a lot)? While Huey is like Kujo what with his huge patience with Dalian, and Camilla may not exactly be like Avril but then there are similarities...

Anyway, the general plot line is a lot similar. The two main characters, the hero and the heroine, almost always find themselves in certain cases that they are bound to fix and solve, only they do it in different ways: Victorique and Kujo are on detective modes while Dalian and Huey are like guardians of Phantom Books.

Also in both stories, the relationship between the two characters seems to develop awfully fast but I guess it must be due to the limited anime epi. time or something, but then to be honest, it doesn't really matter and the heck, I love it. Heh. :))

Anyhoo, Gosick's mysteries are a bit easy, especially the earlier ones (I must've seen too much of Detective Conan, I think, I mean since I'm saying that) though the drama part is just LOVE~ <3 ! I mean, I just cried during the battle scene of Cordelia and Victorique's father, what's-his-name. And cried again and again and again during the last few episodes, mainly episode 20-24. And dude, I cried and cried because of this line which is just too much for a stupid romantic-weirdo like me:

"No matter how the world changes, we'll never be separated again." - Victorique and Kujo

(How much of a crybaby will I get really? I mean it's been months(!!!) since I've watched it but the line and the memory of the story still manages to cause my eyes to get teary and all. -____-)

Dantalian no Shoka on the other hand, is just as lovely although it bothers me a lot that there are certain things not clearly explained. (Maybe there will be a second season. I hope.) Such as the white biblioprincess and the patch-eye one too and their Keykeepers. I especially hate the fact that they didn't elaborate much on the Libricide Officer (Hal right?) since he's kakkoii(!!!) not to mention HOT, totally.

(ne? ne? ne? :3)

Also, they didn't bother much to explain about the other Dalian, the pink-haired one, and it just pains me to think that it's with her that Huey is totally into, I mean sure they must be the same person or library or whatever but the thing is that part is ALL muddled, it's confusing. And also have I mentioned painful? Yes painful. Poor purple-haired Dalian. I like her better kasi, so there. :P

---

On the other hand, the other thing I love about both these stories is that I could relate with the two heroines, being hikikomori myself, and also being a book lover too, who'd rather spend her time surrounded by her beloved books, locked up in my room than socializing with humans (I mean it's just too much hard work to talk and introduce yourself to everyone you know, and then they almost always end up not understanding you neither your world.). And if given the chance, I'd pounce eagerly on said chance to live in Victorique's library surrounded by all those beautiful and I bet waaay interesting books. Heaven. =^_^=

Also, this clip in DnS epi.5, just breaks me down and makes me cry (again *sigh*) because it's too sweet and impossible. Heh. But still sweet.

Sweet right?

But then impossible, since no sane person would really bother "saving" the hikikomori bookworm from her perpetual alone-ness, be it self-imposed or not. (Well, prolly there is, just not anyone I know, so yeah, I'll remain forever alone, not that I mind, much.)

And pink-haired Dalian is right by the way, with her saying that the books certainly makes her feel all those feelings you experience in actuality. It's true, I mean, it's just the same. You feel the same things and much more because your imagination fuels your mind and before you know it you've experienced just the same maybe even much more than those who experienced those things in actuality. The power of books and imagination. The very reason why I fell in love with books and why I'll prolly never fall out of love.

---

Now going back to Gosick and Dantalian no Shoka, ALL I'm saying is that they're both great and have their own distinct qualities that definitely makes them stand out, and similarities which I guess are common especially since it's anime, so the stereotypes. But then Gosick is better because of the overall storyline which killed my poor little heart, while Dantalian no Shoka shows great promise of a good anime so a second season should be made already, like right NOW! ;3 And yeah, I prolly have to read the manga to quench my thirst...

A book-vampire. Heh. Or alien. Vampire alien? Whatever. :))

My Arakawa Under The Bridge Episode 200 realization

Uhm, so... is Arakawa Under The Bridge just Ko(aka Ric)'s dream? An elaborate fantasy borne out of his boredom from his "perfect" life, such that watching the circus presentation played out by it's fantastic set of casts, he was sucked into the said elaborate dream? Oh man. Bad Season 2. Makes me sad. -_________- Could be I'm just reading a lot out of the last episode...b-but...but...anything is possible. I hate episode 200.

I mean, why have episode 200: Applause for you, the ending episode end in such way? Why not just allow the perfectly happy ending presented by episode 199? Why???

Now I'm sad. Waaay sad. As you can see, I'm not exactly fond of such endings where I could glean a lot of twisted ideas, mostly masochistic, just to, well, hurt myself, I mean emotionally not physically.

It's just like Pan's Labyrinth, where I get to question the lead character(the little girl)'s perception on reality and the blurring lines of the fantastic world she had encountered or perhaps created, you know, in order to escape the grim reality she had been led to live in.

Geez. Reality sucks big time huh? The movie Inception too gave me that idea where I think in actuality it was Dom who remained trap in his own version of reality, meaning it must be that his wife is right or he was not really able to escape that dream-in-a-dream-in-a-dream world (you get the gist if you've seen the movie), hence in order to cope with it he just created a world in that dream in which he was trapped, and prolly will remain trapped for the rest of his life, and made it a place where he could live happily ever after with his kids. Back in his "safety" zone.

Crap. So where does that leave poor me? Poor, poor me? The me who can't stay put in the world of reality where pain exists in all corners, stalking me, waiting for the right time to prey on me and inflict pain, pain, pain... The me who is always seeking protection from my made-up dreams of a different world. Where does that leave me? I really hope I could escape too. Well, after all an alien could escape, right? I mean, I just have to find my spaceship right? In order to escape earth and all the hideous monsters (or humans) who plans to eliminate me and all. Right? Right. Yep, resolution resolved, I'm going to escape someday. Someday.

 Meanwhile, I'll just wallow in self-pity. As I wait for that spaceship to come pick me up.

http://metanorn.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/nino2-600x747.jpg

I should be hanged

Ohmigod. As in seriously Ohmigod.

I should be hanged. Or worse bitch slapped. Like someone should totally come up to me in public, brandish their steely palms and hit me with it in my cheeks!!!

I totally deserve that.

Why?

Well, because here I am still mooning over my crush who chose to friendzone me after I painfully carved my chest in order to show him my heart who beats his name (okay, fine. I just texted him that I like him, but still!!!), and how I sometimes go over the memories we shared together with me getting all teary-eyed especially when listening to a song (Lady Antebellum's Owned the Night is just AWESOME, 'nuff said) and then when I get real sad, as in REAL sad, I sorta blame him on how he sorta led me on, when it hit me (real hard may I say?) that perhaps the reason why he rejected me (and showing it by not even texting back 'hey I think of you just a friend' or whatever, anyway) is that he is actually totally in love with someone and they have this great relationship going on!!! (or, since well he's single I think that's what he said, he's totally also having a one-sided love going on with someone and that he really, really likes her. But fudge, this kind-of scenario reminds me of something that I don't wanna remember so I won't). And here I am trying to think of ways to make him mine (HAHA! just you know dreaming things up on how I'd show him my greatness, like hell yeah) or at least show him that it's his loss not mine (and this is what you get for reading too much romance novels, I know but they [romance novels] offer a kind-of escape from this world you know? Only geez, don't get me started on Twilight. I hate it. I'm more of a Cabot girl, and okay sometimes Nora Roberts and of course Nicholas Sparks! :D) or well just you know, things that would make me feel better. Anyway, as I was saying, I was moping around like that when I realize what a bitch I am (although seriously? I already know it's bitchy to act like you were oh-so-hurt and fooled when you weren't really. Fooled, I mean.) and I should be hanged. Really. For my selfishness, I mean.

God. What kind of friend am I? And I have the nerve to still consider him a friend. Wah!!! I am so so so going to bang my head a hundred thousand times on the wall for retribution.

That feeling...

when you know you've pushed too far and still pushing hard, insisting for something to happen though you know it won't. Not now. Perhaps not ever.

But why attempt to begin a relationship with someone when it appears you don't have plans to continue it?

So again, I know the mistake's mine. I insisted on something I thought was right. I messed everything up. But is it that hard for you to address it, address me and tell me that I don't matter or that you don't care?


I realized, that after these past weeks, more than you telling me that you still want me to be your friend, even just as a friend (because honestly I value our friendship more than I value my attraction for you), what I want is for you to just tell me something. Anything. Sounds desperate? Not really. I just want a signal coming from you so I'd be able to... I don't know, move on? Or just forget I ever met you. But I know I won't. You are that best friend I've always wanted. That is, you were.

Lyin' here with you so close to me

It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe

I'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile

And now I keep praying I could turn back time and go back. Go back. Go back. And wished I had held back. I would have been happier not knowing this feeling. But then, I was happy when I was with you.


Stupid one-sided feeling. Stupid wishes. Stupid dreams. Stupid me. I told you, happy-endings ain't for everyone, at least not for me.

Just a shot in the dark that you just might

Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

More than a shot in the dark, I thought you'd be lighting my path in the dark. But you wouldn't.

And more than a kiss goodnight, all I wanted is for you not to say goodbye. But you did. 

No, I don't want to say goodnight (goodbye)

I know it's time to leave

But you'll be in my dreams

Tonight, tonight, tonight

Problems of a matchmaker

Okay, so I got these two friends.

Well, the guy's not really a "friend" but more like a likable person I know (since we're not exactly close).

Anyway, so my girl friend and I were there standing in line waiting to be let in inside le fair. And I saw my guy classmate in one of my classes this sem. So I greeted him.

I introduced them.

They shook hands.

http://edaconnections.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/business-people-shaking-hands.jpg

Personally, I thought it was sweet.

Like in the movies.

I thought they're gonna be my newest perfect match. (Hell yeah! I'm a matchmaker. A good one. It's just that good matchmakers aren't exactly good with their own love lives, or the lack of it. XD)

Anyway, so there I was, I've been dreaming of the day that I can introduce them to each other because it just makes a lot of sense (for me at least), and I was effin' happy when, by chance!, they met.

We spent the fair sorta together at the start. And spent another day sorta together again. It was fun. And the thing is I was really ecstatic. I thought she's gonna be able to forget her scumbag ex. Finally.

But... She told me, while I was waiting for my parents to come fetch me, that...

"I'm not interested."

Wah! Dreams destroyed.

And the sad thing is, I really think he's an awesome guy. For gosh sakes, he's a gamer and gamers are COOL people (my brudder is. Although I'm especially careful not to tell him that). He is also an introvert (like me and her, I guess that's why we sorta clicked together). He likes music (and not trash music!). He is sorta into anime (people who are into anime are awesome, right?!). He does not cringe when we talk about おたく　ふ女子 stuff (most guys I know, most especially my brudder dear, are especially sensitive to such topics). And he's nice. I think he's got a lot in common with her. But why is she not giving him the chance? Why?

Geez.

I hope he contacts me and asks me for help in pursuing her. I'd love him if he'd do just that. :D

P.S. And he's funny. The mud ice cream prank he did yesterday reminds me of my childhood and my childhood buddies. Do I like him? Fudge yeah. Who could not like such cool guy? But why doesn't she? Pfft. I knew it. Scumbag ex of hers. -____- Hehe.

B-kun, Oo Torete ako sayo. May reklamo?

So you're here in my mind.

Again. For the nth time.

Can I ask you to leave me? Even just for a teensy eensy weensy bit of moment? 'Cause I can't think straight. Thanks to you.

But don't worry dear. I'm not mad.

It's just that the knowledge of not being able to see you anymore. Or not knowing whether I'll ever see you and talk to you like before, well, it kills me. Okay, honestly? It makes me crazy.

But it's okay. I know I'll be okay. Soon. Hopefully.

The funny thing is that I wrote you a letter yesterday, a long one. But of course I know I'll never have the courage to actually send it to you. 'Cause, well, you might reject me. And I know that'll hurt like hell. Been there. Felt that.

Only, I know that this time, this time if I confess my feelings to you, and if you reject me (what am I saying I know you will, 'cause I know you only see me as a friend right?), when you reject me I know I'll be having a hard time trying to pick myself up.

Why? Because based from my past two heart aches, it's you who fits perfectly with the image I have of my dream boy. Well, not perfectly I see that now, because you're not staying.

The latest heart ache was two years ago. Occurred at the same time as my soul-searching mode in acads. It was a hell-like experience. Not because of him, my senpai crush, but more because of the lack of having someone to confide to regarding my decisions in life. Nonetheless, God saved me so here I am. (Why am I telling this to you? As if you're gonna find and read this no?)

I want you to know how much I actually like you

Maybe I'm telling this because I want you to know how much I actually like you, which is stupid since we've only known each other for a short period of time. A couple of months? Less even.

But have you ever felt that feeling that you've known someone for a long time already? That's the way I felt when I found you sitting beside me on the beach. I turned around to talk to our group mate and it's you I found sitting there. Why did you ever sit beside me? Why did you talk to me as if you and I are friends? We barely even talk the day before. Well, we held hands. I remember that.

that feeling that you've known someone for a long time already?

Haven't I warned you enough that I'm weird? That I'm an alien? And that I'm a hopeless Romantic? You should have listened. Then you might have spared my feelings. I know it's my fault for assuming too much but are you really blameless? Not that I'm blaming you really.

Forgive me.

For assuming. For falling for you.

And it so happens that you're the first actual guy I fell for after two years of building all those barriers and obstructions around me as to avoid, well, feeling like this. Actual because all the other guys I gushed on were celebs or characters in stories. I'm thinking I shouldn't have met you.

And you shouldn't have been like one of those characters I like. You should have known. But I'm not blaming you remember that.

And maybe I'm telling you all of this because I miss talking to you. There are still tons of things I wanted to tell you. But now you've left.

Remember that day too when you confided in me about your problems? I'm wondering why you did. It's not as if we're already close then. I mean, are you the kind of person who share his problem to random people? People you feel close to? People you trust? Person you like? (Oooppps.) Or am I really just the kind of person a lot of people feel easy to confide in? (I mean I'm my friends' counselor after all. A lot of people, even those I'm not close to, just feel easy around me hence they tell me their problems and actually listen to my advice.) Maybe that's just that no? And I'm just assuming a lot.

And now I'm feeling the pain for my stupidity. And wondering why I don't just tell you out loud what I feel. If only...

If you only knew how many times I wanted to cry out and ask for your hand to pull me up when we climbed that monstrous mountain. If you only knew how much I wanted to strangle a certain classmate because she's so pretty and my antennae is telling me (yes, I'm an alien right? I have an antennae that detects people's emotions. So there.) that she likes you and somehow you seem to like her back; and I can't compete with her because she's so pretty, and she's girly, while I'm this boyish kiddo who wears big clothes and who is small. (You always tease me that I'm poor little me. I'll admit that I miss you teasing me like that.) And if you only knew how much I wanted our picture taken together at the summit, but I didn't, for fear of being teased, for fear of you rejecting the idea, for fear of you finding out what I feel for you. I avoided talking much to you when we climbed that mountain. And I tried avoiding these feelings. Apparently, mahirap pala. Before I could avoid this kind of feeling, but I guess that was before I met you no?

If you only knew how much I wanted to hug when you were having the chills on the way home.

Before I could avoid this kind of feeling, but I guess that was before I met you no?

If you only knew that I wanted to volunteer myself in fulfilling your wish of a happy family.

Don't worry though, I won't force myself to you. That's why I'm writing this. That's why I'm repeatedly listening to Torete so I'll be reminded of my position in your life. Which is non-existent.

I told you that I find it hard to work on anything especially a story with a group right? I haven't been fully honest, because I wanted to add this:

But I'm willing to write a story about us with you. I'm willing to write and complete a story with you.

See how Torete I am about you?

I hope you'll stumble into this and read this. So that I'll know that I've successfully, for the first time, confessed to the first guy who I unashamedly written a lot of poems about.

DBSK forever in my heart

Call me a crazy, obsessed fangirl. Maybe, indeed, I am. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that I love them. Yeah, you heard me right. I love them. I love DBSK.

Yesterday I bought my copy of MYX Mag The K-Pop Edition. I've been ransacking all bookstores I know since Tuesday trying to look for it. I failed. But yesterday, while I was busy doing my mother's groceries, I saw it. I saw it. And I almost squealed with delight. Almost.

A lucky day.

I bought it and started reading. Although I know the pages tributed for TVXQ would be few (very few, indeed, I found out later, only 2 freaking pages, but well, it's worth it), I still dread the article about them. Considering the fact that they are undergoing the biggest storm in their career (hehe, storm, I like that word a lot, I'm an Arashi fangirl too, mind you).

But I liked the article a lot. Especially the first few lines:

When we speak of the talented boy bands from Korea, there is one group that definitely comes to the mind of a true K-Pop follower. This is TVXQ---

True enough.

It's like you're the dumbest person alive if you claim to be an avid K-Pop lover yet not know about the existence of the gods.

They're the best. They're it. That's why everyone who claims to love K-Pop should know them. That's why most true blue K-Pop lovers adore them. And that's why I love them.

Anyway, the article, though not that touchy-feely puts me to tears.

I was literally crying bucketsful of tears.

Dang, I miss them. I miss reading news about the five of them together. I miss their laugh. Their jokes. And just about everything that concerns them.

God, I miss the five of them so much.

That is why, being the sensitive person that I am, I've written a poem for them. It's a weird poem though. I write stuff about people and things when I want to because I feel a strong need to do so but it is always accompanied with indifference (even just a dash of indifference), but this poem is different. It's all about my feelings about the five of them. All about the love I have for them. (Yes, I love Arashi as much, but please, allow me to offer this for DBSK, just DBSK.)

After being lost in touch with my blog for a month or two, here I am again, back with a broken heart. (haha!) Honestly.

All I can offer

(Don't wanna see you cry)

I don't want to lose you

Not now, not ever

I don't want to see too

the five of you not together

I don't want to hear your cries

Don't want to see your tears

I don't want you to tell me lies

while you're alone facing your fears

Your tears breaks my heart

Your cries kills me

You already are a part

of my life, can't you see?

I will cry for you, yes I will

I'll do it to spare you the pain

So please don't cry, don't make me feel

As if I can't shield you from the rain

Suki da, Te amo, I love you

You've been my gods, my guide

Listen, please, Saranghaeyo

Now, today, no matter what, forever by your side

I love them.

Honto ni.

Ta-ta for now. I'm on the brink of tears yet again. *sigh*

P.S. Thaaanks a lot MYX Mag!